The irony of loneliness
Is we all feel it
At the same time
— “Together” by Rupi Kaur
That poem never felt more true than it did after arriving home from my senior year in mid-March. I was in a state of mourning … perhaps I still am, perhaps we all still are.
The irony is that the pandemic has the possibility of being one of the most unifying experiences we will live through — it has touched everyone. Yet camaraderie and togetherness have never felt more difficult.
As I settled into life back home, I found myself wondering if and how community engagement was still possible. How were all of us holding up? Were we feeling similarly? Were we doing the same things as our neighbors? Was it possible for us to accompany each other through this moment, even if we could not share physical space?
Feeling restless with these questions, I posed them to my Instagram followers. What started as one week of polls grew into a larger project that, in eight months, has included more than 150 questions answered by more than 200 people to inform five blog pieces. I have asked my followers about what we are doing, what we miss, what feels hard, what it’s like to job hunt in 2020, how our fitness routines have changed, and more. The hope is that these questions and this blog series are a practice of community — that it helps us feel less alone. The hope is also that we are creating a record — a documentation of this time that we can look back on and remember how we felt the year the world turned upside down.
What I found is both unsurprising and eye-opening. People responded that this has been a year of frustration, feeling stuck, exhaustion, confusion, and fear. I have also been reminded of things to smile about. My peers expressed gratitude for the good things. They have used this time to learn, explore, and grow. I have been reminded that while hope wavers (and sometimes disappears for a while), it still shows up and we have the capacity to ask it to stay.
I hesitate to make blanket declarations on how we have been holding up. The answer is complicated, nuanced, and changes for most people day to day.
Personally, while I have been touched and inspired by individual responses, what I’ve found most meaningful is the number of people willing to make this project possible. People are willing to be vulnerable, honest about how they’re feeling, and intentional about community. I am left more convinced that others feel the way I do: desperate to feel seen and known, to feel checked in on.
I knew this project could never solve the problems of 2020. I could never pretend to hope that polls on Instagram would alone heal the loneliness brought on by the pandemic. I do think, though, that it has opened an avenue on which we can walk through it together.
Elle O’Brien ’20 was an educational studies major who now works in public relations.