{"id":11904,"date":"2023-05-05T08:32:00","date_gmt":"2023-05-05T12:32:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/news.colgate.edu\/magazine\/?p=11904"},"modified":"2023-05-03T09:51:34","modified_gmt":"2023-05-03T13:51:34","slug":"life-advice-from-faculty-and-alumni","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/news.colgate.edu\/magazine\/2023\/05\/05\/life-advice-from-faculty-and-alumni\/","title":{"rendered":"Life Advice From Faculty and Alumni"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

We asked the Colgate community to weigh in on topics ranging from relationships to careers. See what they had to say.<\/strong>

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Relationship<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"Engage<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Intergenerational relationships are beneficial for both older and younger individuals, because different life experiences can create meaningful connections, according to Ariel Sherry \u201915<\/strong>. \u201cReflect on your biases or perceptions about people of different ages,\u201d advises Sherry. She\u2019s a senior product manager at Papa, an app aimed at bringing companionship to older adults. Previously, Sherry held multiple roles at Cake, an online platform for navigating the aging process and end-of-life care. \u201cPretty much every older adult I\u2019ve spoken with has something interesting they can tell you and share about their life,\u201d she says. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To help facilitate these relationships, Sherry suggests employing this mindset: \u201cThis is another human being, another person who just happens to be a different age. Recognize that, like with any relationship, they have stuff to teach you and you have stuff to teach them.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2192<\/strong> \u201cGet off your phone and tune into life around you. Go from 2D to 3D reality. [For example,] when standing in a line or at a counter when another person is directly interacting with you, look them in the eyes, say hello, say thank you, wish them a great day. That small human interaction will make your day better and their day better; I promise the dividends of humanity will continue to pay. Expand your real network, not your virtual one.\u201d \u2014 Kelsy Hill \u201904<\/strong> works in strategic branding and integrated marketing and is currently the chief marketing officer at Raglan Motors. She majored in philosophy and political science at Colgate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2192<\/strong> \u201cYou can\u2019t be everything. The sooner you make a conscious choice about what roles you will prioritize (Parent? Friend? Employee? Child? Spouse?), the easier it is to make choices about how you spend your most precious resources \u2014 time and energy.\u201d \u2014 John Stieger \u201996<\/strong>, a Colgate political science major who earned an MBA from Cornell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2192<\/strong> \u201cThe only thing harder than being human is being in any kind of relationship with another human. Learning how to do this is hard, but [it’s] the most valuable tool you will have throughout your life. Developing the ability to set boundaries, to communicate, to be humble and vulnerable and direct. These are the skills that transcend any other in terms of value in life. They will contribute to your success in ways that are profoundly more important than any other skill set as they will also significantly enhance your quality of life. We spend so much time in anxious anticipation of difficult conversations that often never happen because of our fear. This, in and of itself, prevents us from wholly engaging in our life and our relationships.\u201d \u2014 Jenny Hecht \u201996<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2192<\/strong> \u201cPeople don\u2019t or can\u2019t always show up in your life in the exact way you want them to. But if you can accept this fact and if you do like what it is they consistently bring to the table, you open yourself up to receiving a lot of joy and love from those around you.\u201d \u2014 On Tim Tang \u201917<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2192<\/strong> \u201cDo not be afraid to change your approach to parenting. Instead of being exclusively a parent to your children, become instead a part-time student of your children. Make the effort to learn as much from them as they are learning from you. You will each be rewarded with higher levels of consciousness, awareness, respect, friendship, love, and mutual happiness.\u201d \u2014 Dan Christie \u201975  <\/strong>
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Health<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Having a consistent routine before bed may lead to better sleep, says Assistant Professor of Psychology Lauren Philbrook<\/strong>, who studies sleep patterns. That routine signals to your body that it\u2019s time to go to sleep. Also, having a consistent bedtime and wake-up time is helpful in training our circadian rhythms, which the National Institute of General Medical Sciences describes as \u201cphysical, mental, and behavioral changes that follow a 24-hour cycle.\u201d Our circadian rhythms respond to light and dark, so it\u2019s natural that our sleep plays a role in keeping them regulated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Watch<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re a nightly TV watcher, that doesn\u2019t mean giving up your guilty pleasure shows in the name of more z\u2019s. \u201cThe concern is about the blue light or the cognitive or emotional arousal that comes from the media,\u201d Philbrook says. Her class has been learning from a sleep psychologist who recommends that, if you want to watch a TV show before bed, watch something familiar. Because a familiar favorite won\u2019t be as cognitively or emotionally stimulating, it may not cause as much disruption to your sleep. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finally, \u201csometimes the swing from weekend to weeknight can be really difficult on your body,\u201d says Philbrook. To keep yourself from getting drowsy on Monday morning, try keeping your bedtime and wake-up time the same seven days a week.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2192<\/strong> \u201cWalk every day (urban hikes are just fine),\u201d says biology major Allan Bombard \u201975<\/strong>, CEO of NVB Partners, Inc. Bombard has spent his career working in the fields of biotechnology, health insurance, and academic medicine. He holds an MD from George Washington University and an MBA from the University of San Diego. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Laugh<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

\u2192<\/strong> \u201cLaugh every day,\u201d says comedian Mark Klein \u201976<\/strong>. \u201cWhen you laugh, your brain releases every chemical in it that\u2019s good for you and none of the ones that are bad. It\u2019s important to find a way to laugh at or with something every day.\u201d

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Careers and Education<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Professors Scott and Ellen Percy Kraly<\/strong> have spent the majority of their careers on the Hill, teaching the next generation of scholars about psychology and neuroscience (Scott) and geography and environmental studies (Ellen). Throughout their 40 years together, they\u2019ve also maintained a strong relationship and raised two children. Upon their retirement they offer some advice:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

O<\/strong>n navigating Colgate:<\/strong> If you need help, or if you want to start a new venture and need support, \u201cthe starting place, at a place like Colgate, is not to write a memo, not to send an email, not to send a phone message \u2014 it\u2019s to walk over to that person\u2019s office and talk to them,\u201d says Scott. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

On balancing career and life: <\/strong>\u201cIt\u2019s important to maintain friendships on a continuous and consistent basis,\u201d says Ellen. Specifically, she wishes she\u2019d been better at nurturing her female friendships in the community during her career. And if you find yourself entering retirement, start working on reinvigorating those relationships, she notes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

O<\/strong>n strengthening their marriage as their careers grew:<\/strong> \u201cAs a couple, there were years where I\u2019d come [home], a baby was handed to me, Scott would go out, put in office hours in the evening,\u201d Ellen remembers. \u201cWe want to have it all, we can mostly have it all, but there are daily, weekly, and sometimes yearly compromises, where you have to kind of shift and love one another. [My advice is] good communication with one another, knowing that you\u2019re in it for the long haul.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Take<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

\u2192<\/strong> \u201cWe need to reframe (and rename) retirement,\u201d says Barbara Hessekiel \u201984<\/strong> Waxman, a life coach and gerontologist. \u201cThe word itself means to withdraw, to cease. At 65, with decades of living ahead, that is not what people are aspiring to,\u201d the Colgate psychology major notes. Instead, people should live according to their life stage rather than their age. Waxman recommends thinking of retirement as \u201cpreferment,\u201d a time devoted to those things that bring a sense of meaning, joy, and impact. \u201cIt reflects the decades spent on the activities, roles, and yes, even work, that we prefer to do,\u201d she says.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2192<\/strong> \u201cWhat I found after graduation was that my \u2018perfect job\u2019 was not in any way what I thought it would be. I went from one secondary teaching job to another for five years. I was miserable. Then I was offered a position with Exxon. It was wonderful. I got to use my geology and computer experience. I was there for 33 years. One should not accept a situation if it\u2019s not what you wanted or expected. Keep trying and you will find what fits you best.\u201d \u2014 Steve Shapiro \u201975<\/strong>, Colgate geology major <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2192<\/strong> \u201cHave goals, but don\u2019t be trapped by them,\u201d says screenwriter Ray Hartung \u201970<\/strong>. \u201cDon\u2019t get myopic about where you\u2019re going, because along the way, other interesting things could just pop out. And you\u2019ve got to embrace that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2192<\/strong> \u201cIn order to remain relevant, we must diligently continue to pursue knowledge, or our opportunities will be marginalized. Each of us must view the journey as one of continuous learning. Remember, no one ever died of overexposure to education. In the words of William Butler Yeats, \u2018Education is not about filling the pail, but about lighting the fire.\u2019\u201d \u2014 Stuart Angert \u201962<\/strong>, former CEO of Remarketing Services of America, Inc. Angert is also an active community member in Buffalo, N.Y., and was a commissioner of the New York State Office of Parks, Recreation and Historic Preservation for the Niagara District. In addition to his Spanish degree from Colgate, he earned an MBA from the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania in 1965.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2192<\/strong> \u201cPractice curiosity! Ask questions and marvel at the unknowable.\u201d \u2014 Janice McSherry \u201975<\/strong>, former vice president and associate general counsel for GlaxoSmithKline. In addition to her Colgate sociology and anthropology degree, she earned her JD from the University of Pittsburgh in 1983. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2192<\/strong> \u201cInvest in yourself. I spent a lot of resources on funding other people\u2019s dreams. When I bet on myself I have usually won. Whether that was starting new businesses or continuing my education, the results (even when failure\u2026 my CBD Chocolate business went bust) have always been a net positive: we either win or have the opportunity to learn and grow.\u201d \u2014 Reed Lewis \u201996 <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2192<\/strong> \u201cNever stop taking classes. There is still so much to learn and so many smart people eager to share their knowledge\u201d \u2014 Betsy Burnham \u201975 Wallman <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2192<\/strong> \u201cThere\u2019s a good chance you won\u2019t immediately achieve your life goals, but with patience and persistence you could find satisfaction in an entirely different direction than you expected.\u201d \u2014 Bruce Ward \u201975<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2192<\/strong> \u201cSeek adventure in all aspects of your life and volunteer for new things.  We have the education and resources to do virtually anything; it\u2019s up to us to keep life exciting and rewarding.\u201d \u2014 Larry Arnold \u201963<\/strong>

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Death<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Everyone who dies deserves to be remembered, whether it\u2019s through a traditional funeral service or an unconventional memorial, says Alan Benedict \u201961<\/strong>. Benedict is a fifth-generation funeral director who has spent his career helping others grieve their loved ones in ways that feel authentic to the deceased. For example, one woman Benedict cared for had a passion for knitting, so his funeral home placed her afghans around the room during her memorial service. Benedict says services have been trending away from expensive, reserved memorials and more toward honoring the deceased in a unique way. \u201cThings are much more personal than they were.\u201d His advice: Just make sure you do something<\/em> in memory of your loved one. Because people are living longer lives these days, they\u2019re often left with a smaller network at the end of their lives. \u201cMy major concern is that [some] people are doing nothing,\u201d Benedict says. Even a small memorial service to remember someone is better than nothing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Remember<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Also, when helping a loved one at the end of life, consider hospice care, suggests Benedict. Over the years, he\u2019s seen the ways end-of-life care has transitioned to a \u201cdeath with dignity\u201d approach that hospice care provides. \u201cIt has really taught our country a lot about how to handle people in this stage of death.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2192<\/strong> Daisaku (Dai) Yamamoto, associate professor of geography and Asian studies<\/strong>, teaches the course Is the Planet Doomed?, which is more positive than it sounds: \u201cI bring the students to this question of, basically, how we can perish better? Of course, we will all be doomed in the long run. We know in about a billion years, Earth is not going to be habitable for any creatures. But even in the short term, I think many of us are worried about it,\u201d he says. Yamamoto\u2019s advice: \u201cInstead of being so preoccupied with the issue of survival, we should probably focus on how we can live and die better.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2192<\/strong> \u201cIn the words of the late and truly great Lin Brehmer \u201976: \u2018Take nothing for granted. It\u2019s Great to Be Alive!\u2019\u201d Mary Clare<\/strong> (Greabe<\/strong>) \u201986<\/strong> Bonaccorsi<\/strong> says, quoting the famous Chicago radio DJ who died in January. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2192<\/strong> \u201cTell people you love them while you can. After they\u2019re gone, it\u2019s too late.\u201d \u2014 Chuck Dickemann \u201978<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Mindset<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\u2192<\/strong> \u201cEvery three months, turn down the lights, open a bottle of wine, and listen to Dylan\u2019s Blonde on Blonde<\/em> and Marvin Gaye\u2019s What\u2019s Going On<\/em>.\u201d \u2014 Dave Huston \u201975<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2192<\/strong> \u201cBuy a Mega Millions lottery ticket,\u201d says economics major Glen Howell \u201975<\/strong>. \u201c[Then] imagine how you will change your life if you win. Gives you perspective on what is important to you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2192<\/strong> \u201cIn 2021, data from NASA\u2019s New Horizons space probe was used to revise the earlier estimate of the number of galaxies in the universe to roughly 200 billion (2\u00d71011<\/sup>). All of your problems are small.\u201d \u2014 Alex Choniski \u201904<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2192<\/strong> \u201cFall in love with the life you live. Every. Single. Day.\u201d \u2014 Kay (Traester) LaBanca \u201905<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2192<\/strong> \u201cKnow your worth. This is essential as you grow\/evolve and navigate dating, selecting a life partner and friendships, and your career. If you find yourself doubting your worth as a person in the worlds in which you are involved, reach out to trusted people to have them remind you!\u201d \u2014 Kaori Nakamura \u201993<\/strong>  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2192<\/strong> \u201cThe sooner you realize that there is no universal \u2018better life,\u2019 the better. What works for one person might not work for the other. Your only competition is yesterday\u2019s you. Don\u2019t be afraid to try new things and figure out what\u2019s the best life for you. It\u2019s never too late to start in a new direction if the current one makes you miserable.\u201d \u2014 Kroum Sourov \u201904<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2192<\/strong> \u201cFocus on today, not yesterday. Value what you have, more than what you\u2019ve lost.\u201d \u2014 Phil Bramson \u201975<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2192<\/strong> \u201cAs you travel along your personal life\u2019s journey, work hard to be a better listener.\u201d \u2014 Peter J. Beucher \u201975<\/strong>
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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