“My whole life came crashing down,” Jake Kleinman ’07 said of the night he realized he was gay. In coming to terms with his homosexuality, Kleinman felt like his “all-American life” was in jeopardy — from his circle of Colgate friends to his plans to become a doctor.
Yesterday evening at the Colgate Bookstore, for the first time in front of an audience, Kleinman told his story about coming out during his junior year of college.
He first made his story public last October in a YouTube video, which was transcribed and edited into an essay as part of the recently released book It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living.
The It Gets Better Project was launched by author Dan Savage and his partner, Terry Miller, in fall 2010 in response to the tragic suicides by lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) teens.
The project started as a YouTube video posted by Savage and Miller to support LGBTQ adolescents who are bullied at school. Within two months, the video went viral, inspiring more than 10,000 YouTube videos by others sharing their stories and sparking a worldwide movement.
A medical student who is about to graduate from Tulane University, Kleinman didn’t think much about his video until a friend informed him that it got more than 1,000 hits. When Savage contacted him to ask if he would be part of an upcoming book, Kleinman thought it was just going to be a little pamphlet.
Released March 22, the book is a collection of essays by more than 100 contributors, including Barack Obama, Ellen Degeneres, and David Sedaris. Last week, the book reached 16th on the New York Times Best Sellers list for hardcover nonfiction.
“It’s grown into something much bigger than I had ever envisioned,” Kleinman said.
Although he was fortunate to find acceptance at Colgate, Kleinman was riddled with anxiety before coming out, so he understands the feeling of isolation that many LGBTQ adolescents experience. But by telling his college friends — especially those who had previously told him that they would never be friends with a gay person — he began the process of understanding.
Several friends have told Kleinman that his outspokenness has saved their own lives. “Just offering to be there for people can be so powerful and make such a difference,” he said.
The truth of that statement rang true last night during the question-and-answer period when a high school freshman talked about being bullied to tears every day. “I can’t take it anymore,” he said, asking for advice.
Kleinman sat with the 15-year-old afterward and has been in contact with him since the event. “I gave him my promise that I would do all I could to support him in any way that I can,” Kleinman said.
Eugene Riordan ’11, leader of the campus LGBTQ group Lambda and intern for LGBTQ Initiatives, said he participated in the video because, “We have to work as a community, build coalitions, and engage the whole campus in order to make everything get better.”
Another video participant, Joyce Noble ’11, added: “I like to think that initiatives like this will not only reach the ears of those who are going through difficult times, but also make people more aware of trying to stop this culture of hate.”